Finally!

I think these new flames look rad!

Now it's time for: "MOVIES I WILL NEVER SEE"

Based on the true story of Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, and some other Nazi's (failed) attempt to assassinate Hitler. Shot almost entirely in Germany as to maintain authenticity, however; German Politicians and von Stauffenberg's family were opposed to the casting of Cruise, due to his involvement in a religious cult based on the teachings of failed science fiction writer, L.Ron Hubbard (Scientology). Another embarrassing part may have been that Cruise delivers all his lines with his Yankee Doodle Dandy accent.

Here is probably how the idea was spawned...

Tom Cruise: Hey! Do you think I look cool in this eye-patch? I think look pretty cool in this eyepatch!
Assistant to T.C.: Yeah, pretty cool.
T.C.: Maybe I should do some sort of pirate movie next..?
A.T.C.: Johnny Depp has already done it.
T.C.: Fuck!
A.T.C.: Back in WWII, there was a Nazi officer that was plotting to kill Hitler...He wore an eye-patch.
T.C.: Really? So like, a "good Nazi" then, right? I'd be a good Nazi, in one of those cool Nazi officer uniforms with an eye-patch!?
A.T.C.: Yes!
T.C.: Holy L. Ron Hubbard! Let's do it!
A.T.C.: You need to start learning German right away.
T.C.: The Germans didn't speak German on Hogan's Heroes.
A.T.C.: True. A German accent then?
T.C.: I don't really do accents. Fuck it. No one will notice once they see me in this cool eye-patch!